


Corn Maze

by loogandthemaidenofwind



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Corn Mazes, Dorks in Love, F/F, M/M, enjoy i guess??, idk what im doing, minor dorogrid, minor sylvix, no beta we die like Glenn, this is really stupid but idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24620404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loogandthemaidenofwind/pseuds/loogandthemaidenofwind
Summary: Two idiots get stuck in a corn maze, fall in love.Please do not take this seriously, I was all kinds of tired when I posted this.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Corn Maze

Dimitri blamed Sylvain. 

The ridiculous, redheaded son of House Gautier had insisted they all attend the fall fair. Despite Felix’s reluctance and Ingrid’s reminders of the time Sylvain had flirted with a scarecrow, he still managed to drag them all along. 

Dimitri, like a fool, had trusted Sylvain’s intentions. He had blindly let Sylvain lead them around from dawn to dusk, had accepted his offer of going into a corn maze to end the night. Sadly for Dimitri, he had forgotten three key things.

One- Felix’s desire to do everything alone. The scowling, raven-haired Fraldarius boy had immediately rushed into the maze without even a glance backward. 

Two- Sylvain’s very obvious crush on Felix. He had charged right after Felix, probably not knowing where he was going, and probably not caring much either. 

Three- Ingrid’s stealth. The daughter of House Galatea, apparently exhausted by chasing the three of them around, was leaving with a familiar-looking brunette girl when Dimitri turned around. 

And now Dimitri, poor Dimitri, was lost and alone in a corn maze. 

Dimitri wandered around in confusion for what felt like an hour. The poor boy had never been good with directions- proven by all the times he’d gotten lost. He’d even walked right into a lake once. Escaping this maze was next to impossible. 

What would he do now? A number of outlandish thoughts raced through his head. Would he be stuck there forever? Would anyone even find him? And if they did, what would happen? Would they kidnap him and make him a guide? What would he live off of if he got stuck here- corn? 

But then Dimitri saw something- light. Every instinct in his body screamed at him to follow it. Light was a good thing, right? He decided to trust his instincts and follow it, navigating his way through the maze to the source, and praying it was something that would help him. 

After many confusing minutes involving backtracking, dead ends, and a lot of corn, he finally drew near enough to fully see it. The light was coming from a phone that a boy was speaking into. Dimitri couldn’t see who it was, so he peeked from behind a wall, intending to speak to the boy once his call was over. 

He could hear snippets of the conversation- “Hilda, please get me out of here… what do you mean, no… oh haha, very funny... stop laughing!!... ugh! Curse you!” He then heard a beeping sound, and strings of swear words. 

Dimitri figured that now was a great time to reveal his presence. So he strode out from behind the corn as if he hadn’t been standing there the whole time like a creepy stalker and called out, “Hello!” 

The boy swore louder than ever from fright. He turned around quickly, panic lighting up his features. And- by the gods, was the boy shirtless?! 

Dimitri blushed from the tips of his ears to the nape of his neck as he stared at the beautiful boy. He had feathery hair the color of melted chocolate, and tanned skin that positively glowed in the moonlight. Dimitri tried to ignore how the light bounced off the man’s toned six-pack, and he quickly averted his eyes. Oh, the indignity! 

The man relaxed a little. “Oh! Hello, stranger!” 

“Your shirt…” Dimitri whispered, so flustered that he felt like his entire face could melt right off. 

The man looked down at his own bare chest. “Oh. Heh. Right. I spilled ice cream all over my shirt, so my friends convinced me to take it off. It wouldn’t be a problem, except I saw my best friend’s parents at this fair. I didn’t want them to see me like this ‘cause they already hate me enough, so I panicked and ran into this corn maze. I’ve been wandering around here for the past hour, hopelessly lost.” 

Dimitri blinked at the strange story, though in all fairness, he probably would have done that too. “Oh… oh, my.” 

“Yeah.” The man rubbed his arms, shivering. “Gotta say, I’m freezing.”

“You could borrow my coat!” Dimitri blurted. 

Instantly, every voice in his head began yelling at him. He didn’t even know this man’s name, and he was offering up his coat? How much more desperate could he look? He may as well have danced around with a bouquet of roses in the moonlight, holding chocolates and singing “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift. In Dimitri’s mind, that may have been less embarrassing than what he just did. 

While Dimitri had his internal crisis, the man said, “I think I’ll take you up on that offer, actually.” 

Dimitri tried in vain to control his breathing as he shrugged off his coat and offered it to the stranger. Their hands brushed for a little too long, and Dimitri’s face reddened to the point of explosion. The man pulled the coat on. It was so ridiculously oversized and cute, Dimitri really had to look away, lest his entire being burst into flames. 

“You okay there, stranger? You look like you’re burning up,” the man said, staring in concern. 

“Nope!” Dimitri squeaked. “It’s just my, uhm, face allergy.” 

At this point in the conversation, Dimitri wanted to slam his own stupid face right into a brick wall, allergy or no allergy. 

The stranger looked more concerned for Dimitri than ever. “Oh. Okay. So, stranger, how’d you get lost in here?” 

Relieved at finally telling something that might not embarrass him, Dimitri got right into it. “Well, I was with my three friends at this fair, and one of them suggested we all go in a corn maze. We went in, but one of them charged right in headfirst, one of them ran after him, and the other one snuck away. I was abandoned and got lost.” 

On second thought, that story was very embarrassing. 

The stranger looked sympathetic. “Ouch. Well, I’m Claude von Riegan. What do you say we team up and get out of here?” 

Dimitri had no better options, so he nodded his head. “Alright, Claude. I’m Dimitri Alexandre Blaidydd, by the way.” 

“Pleasure!” Claude reached out and shook his hand. Dimitri tried to ignore the way his entire being seemed to set aflame as their fingertips connected. “Soo, shall we go left or right?” 

“Hmm…” Dimitri’s late mother had always told him to take the path to the right. So he shrugged his shoulders and said, “We’ll take the right.” 

“Splendiferous!” Claude led the way. They followed the path in silence before Claude spoke up, “So, tell me about yourself. I’d hate to be stuck in a maze with someone without knowing much about them.”

As if on cue, all information Dimitri could remember about himself flew out of his head. “Well. Uh. As you know, I’m Dimitri. I… play video games sometimes? And I sing on occasion. I play drums, too. And soccer. Uhm. Sorry, I’m not very interesting.” 

“Nah, nah, you’re plenty interesting!” Claude smiled brightly. Oh, dear god, stop being so cute, Dimitri thought desperately.

“I sing too!” Claude continued. “And I play the piano. I also have a pet wyvern named Elandra.” 

Dimitri perked up. “Oh, wow! I’ve always loved wyverns, though I imagine I wouldn’t be a very good flier.” 

“They’re pretty awesome, no?” Claude agreed. “If we ever get out of this maze, I’d be happy to introduce you two sometime! I’m sure she’d love you. You’re quite likable.” 

Dimitri made a ridiculously high-pitched squeaking noise and tried in vain to cover it with a cough. “Oh! Thank you very much! You’re quite likable as well! 

“Heh, thanks!” The duo wandered some more before Claude shook his head. “Ugh, this maze is ridiculous! I can’t imagine ever getting out of here.” 

Dimitri shook his head morosely. “Maybe we’ll both be stuck here forever…” His ponderings about being a tour guide came back to him again, but he knew that now was not the time to share them. 

“Yeah, with all the twists and turns in here, the only way we’re getting out is if someone rips down this corn!” Claude exclaimed in frustration. 

An idea sparked in Dimitri’s head. “You may be onto something…” He stood in front of the nearest wall of corn, preparing to charge. “I’d advise you to stand back.” 

His companion scrambled backward immediately, clinging onto a corn stalk and gazing at him with a hint of fear. “Dimitri, what are you-”

Dimitri let loose a guttural roar and charged headfirst at the corn. He slammed right through it and tumbled into the hall on the other side. The corn stalks that he had smashed through fell down in front of him as he breathed in and out heavily. 

Oh, dear. 

He hadn’t meant to actually break the corn. 

Claude peeked out from the other hall, gazing wondrously at the pure destruction Dimitri had caused. “Uhm… Dimitri?” 

Oh no, Dimitri thought. He must think I’m some sort of beast now. “Yes, Claude?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you have super strength?” Claude demanded teasingly, stepping over the fallen corn stalks to get to Dimitri. 

“I, uh… it’s not the best conversation topic…” Dimitri mumbled. He reached out a hand for Claude lest he stumbled. 

Claude took it and guided himself over what used to be the walls and over to Dimitri. “I dunno. You could make a few friends with your super strength.”

“Are you one of them?” teased Dimitri, shifting from foot to foot. 

“I daresay I am, Dima,” said Claude, and Dimitri nearly tripped over himself, the name Dima Dima Dima rebounding around his skull. “D-Dima?” he half-whispered, eyes snapping over to Claude. 

Claude nodded. “Yep. Dima! Friends, give each other nicknames, no?” 

“We’re friends?” 

Dimitri clamped a hand to his mouth the very second those words escaped his mouth. “I...I’m so sorry! I, uhm, didn’t m-mean it in the way… the way it sounded, and I-” 

Soft chuckling came up from behind him. Claude was laughing at him, but it didn’t seem mean to Dimitri. “Don’t sweat it, Dima. I’ll be your friend if you’ll be mine?” 

“Y-Yes!” 

Dimitri enjoyed Claude’s company very much, but he was getting really tired of constantly embarrassing himself. 

They started walking away from the broken corn, silently deciding that maybe they shouldn’t damage any more property. 

“Soo… back to your super strength, eh?” Claude touched Dimitri’s arm curiously. Dimitri wanted to scream out loud. He felt like his face was melting right off. 

“Yes, I have it. It is there.” Now, this took the cake for all the stupid things he could say. He hoped that he could melt into the ground and die of shame. “Wait, no, ugh, I-” 

Claude laughed again, clear as a ringing bell. “Dimitri, you are the most awkward person I’ve ever met… and I love it. Let’s get out of here.” 

“I…” Dimitri wanted to dismiss his claims, but he realized that Claude was probably right. “Yeah. Let’s leave.” 

“But the question is… how?” Claude asked. He sat down and began to ponder. “It’s too dark to see. I propose we try to make a map, and-” 

“Uh, I could just break more corn,” Dimitri offered. 

“Or we could do that.” Claude pulled himself up and took Dimitri’s hands, smiling brighter than the moon. “Lead the way, Dima.” 

Claude made him feel like he could bust down any stupid corn maze that stood in his way. He roared again and charged straight toward the corn, bracing himself for impact. 

If there was any noise of the corn breaking, he didn’t hear. He barreled straight through the corn walls until he finally emerged on the other side. 

He called back happily. “This way, Claude!” 

Claude stepped through the broken corn stalks and to Dimitri. “Wow, Dima. This strength sure is an advantage. I might have to marry you now!” 

“Oh… I, uh, maybe I could marry you too!” 

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. What the hell did he just say? Forget whatever he said about his strength- this was the stupidest thing he’d done all night. He hadn’t even offered a date first- why did he just ask a man he just met to marry him? 

“Uh, yeah, you would marry me back if I married you. That’s how marriage works, Dima.” Claude laughed breathily and held Dimitri’s hand as they surveyed the scene. 

They had emerged on a side wall a little ways away from the festival. Dimitri could just about see the smudged outlines of rides and the lights illuminating it all. He was relieved to be out, but also sad that his great journey with this man had ended. 

Claude seemed to be thinking the same way. “Well, Dima, it’s been quite the journey.” He started to shrug off Dimitri’s coat. “Here, have this-” 

“You can keep it!” Dimitri blurted out. “Really, keep it.” 

A coy smile spread over Claude’s face. “Hmm, okay, just for now. But I’ll have to return it at some point. How does 3 o’clock at the tea shop on Seiros Street sound?” 

“That… sounds wonderful, Claude.” Dimitri smiled more widely than he ever had in his life. He genuinely thought his face might split open, but he really didn’t care. 

“Sweet!” Claude whipped out a pen and a Post-it and scribbled something on it. “My number,” he explained as he handed it to Dimitri. 

Dimitri stared in awe at this beautiful gift. Claude gave him one more gift- a kiss on the cheek. “See you around, Dima!” he hollered as he started walking away. 

Dimitri pressed a hand to his face, feeling like he could soar. “I’ll see you around, Claude!” he yelled back. 

A smile curled over his lips. “See you around…” 

He started walking back towards the fair. He had so much to tell his friends. 

\---

“Okay, okay, okay, lemme get this straight.” Sylvain laughed. “You met a hot, shirtless guy in the maze, gave him your coat, BROKE down walls for him, offered to marry him, and somehow got his number?!” 

“Essentially, yes,” Dimitri mumbled. They were at a small cafe to get some food after the exhilarating fair. 

“Wow, Dimitri,” Sylvain leaned back in his chair. “I can’t believe that even worked!” 

“Well, I think it’s rather sweet,” supplied Ingrid’s date, Dorothea. She flashed a smile at Dimitri. 

Felix looked less grumpy than usual. He still managed a “Hmmph.” 

“Felix and I did some… bonding… in that maze too.” Sylvain smirked and snaked an arm around Felix. 

Ingrid covered her ears in disgust. “Eww! Oh, gods, I don’t even want to know!” 

“What?” Sylvain looked genuinely confused. “No! We just talked about our feelings and stuff.” 

Felix had a murderous expression on his face. His fingers tightened around a plastic butter knife. 

Maybe Sylvain realized that, because he hurriedly turned back to Dimitri. “Well, Dimitri, you mentioned he gave you a nickname?” 

Dimitri nodded in affirmation and Sylvain whistled between his teeth. “Wow. You are one lucky guy.” 

“Yeah,” Dimitri smiled and looked out at the stars. He couldn’t wait to see Claude again. “I sure am.”


End file.
